i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
