i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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