She's JV to your varsity
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
