i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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