Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
