I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
