So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize
