I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i believe in u and ur pee
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
