I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
