is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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