This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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