i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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