I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
