I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
