Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
