I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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