My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
