Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
