very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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