ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
my poor anus
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
