i think my mom watched the whole time
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
