I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
