you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
