Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
