Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
