Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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