his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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