i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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