You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
