U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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