shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
