Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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