You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
