Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
my liver is dry heaving
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
