HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
