What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
