on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Did you pee in the oven last night??
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
