i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
this hospital has no fireball
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
