Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
