At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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