I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
