if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
