So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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