Say something about gay babies.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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