Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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