well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
