life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
