I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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