You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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