My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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